Humorous Stories

POPA

Above--Sylvain's present to his father, Rodrigue Nadeau

Above--Joe (Colomb) added.

Richard wrote:

I had similar problems catching three of my ducks as well. In early December I had eight people, two canoes, and a labrador retriever breaking the ice all afternoon to try and catch them to no avail. One of the men shot one with a pellet gun 6 times to try and bring it down but needed the dog to finally dispatch it. We thought that if we killed the male, the two females would be easier to get. Turned out he shot a female and the others escaped. Finally they came home to feed in a thaw and after they came home the lake froze solid except for a small hole just off my beach. I just walked down after dark and scooped them up in my arms. Now they are in with the chickens laying eggs for my daughters and my breakfast.

Richard Nadeau

Rodrigue answered:

Salut Richard Comme je voit je ne suit pas seul a avoir des probleme avec des canards, mais moi moins canards, moins problemes, pas de canards, surtout pas de chient, la semaine derniere le chients, en ait approcher ils se sont tous sauver dans la foret au retour le lendemain 1 manquait a l'appelle je croit qu'il reste que des plumes, les deux restant cesoir, ils sont au chaut avec d'autre maudit cannards HaHa ils vont peut'etre rencontre des males et plus de canards l'an prochain plus de probleme ca va nous prendre des recettes de cuisson pour garder la population stable ici pour le reste tous va bien ont attent de tes nouvelles

BYE RODRIGUE YOLANDE AND JOS

Richard offered:

Hey cousins, take heart, I have a part to add to your story for a happy ending for your ducks and mine. I have two extra males (drakes) that I have been trying to give away. Three males are too rough on the 6 females, which are being raped to death. Please tell me you want them--I'd hate to have to kill them. I will be in Lac Megantic sometime next week and we could meet there for the transfer.

Rodrigue answered:

Salut je crois que tes canards sont un danger pour mes 2 femmelle, si tes vieux canard mes 2 jeunes volaile ils vont perde la boule et vont peu etre faire une crise CARDIAC ce la serai dommage pour eux merci quand meme ...

Rodrigue & Yolande

Rodrigue and his 'lac au canard'

Richard wrote:

Rod & Yolande: -25F last night again. Today I brought in the ducks--not enough heat out there for them. They have been in my tub having a ball all day and have gone through 4 changes of water. I gave them a rubber person-doll to play with.

Quackeeeee!

Check Your Yellow Jacket

Why do we laugh when we see someone get hurt? I grin just at the thought of it. Are we sadist or masochist?

I can still picture dad hooting and hollering while slapping his bottom-half furiously. Excuse me while I take a breather and crack up!

Ok. I've regained my composure--ha, ha, ha!

He must've danced the most agitated jig I have ever seen. Finally, after the longest laugh I have ever experienced without being able to take a breath, he dropped his pants and a whole nest of Yellow Jackets buzzed angrily away--content to know that he would never step on their nest again.

Richard

TOP 35 OXYMORONS (submitted by Nicole Nemeth)

35. State worker

34. Legally drunk

33. Exact estimate

32. Act naturally

31. Found missing

30. Resident alien

29. Genuine imitation

28. Airline food

27. Good grief

26. Government organization

25. Sanitary landfill

24. Alone together

23. Small crowd

22. Business ethics

21. Soft rock

20. Amtrak schedule

19. Military intelligence

18. Sweet sorrow

17. Compassionate conservative

16. "Now, then ..."

15. Passive aggression

14. Clearly misunderstood

13. Peace force

11. Plastic glasses

10. Terribly pleased

9. Computer security

8. Political science

7. Tight slacks

6. Definite maybe

5. Pretty ugly

4. Rap music

3. Working vacation

2. Religious tolerance

And the No. 1 oxymoron:

1. Microsoft Works

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